A Difficult Trip

"Shitty weather huh", Thorne said with a grin, trying to make conversation as he steered the car.

"Yeah it is", Peters replied stopping that conversation going anywhere and filling the moving vehicle with silence once more. He'd been silent since they'd got in. It was as if he'd been given a jolt of something.

What's wrong with you, man? Thorne thought to himself. You're acting so strange. Just a second ago you seemed actually glad to see me, now you're looking at me like you wanna throw me out of here.

"So how's things with Jane?" Thorne asked, trying to jumpstart the atmosphere in the car again.

Tony just stared forward with no emotion in his eyes as he answered. "I wouldn't know Alan, she's not my wife anymore."

"What?", Thorne was shocked, Tony and Jane had always been the perfect couple. She was a cop herself and they had met on the job. The pair of them had been in the type of loving relationship where you could imagine them hosting a big barbecue out in the backyard of a large suburban house with their pet dog running around the guests. Of course no family had been able to live out that dream for a very long time due to the current lack of gardens with grass, large wooden homes, meat and of course, living animals.

"She left me" Peters replied.

"Why? You guys were so good together." Thorne was expecting some sort of long sob story but what he got was very different.

"I really don't wanna talk about it"

"Come on, tell me"

"I said no goddamnit." The tone in his voice was a lot harsher.

"Jesus I just wanted to know why."

Tony snapped. "You want to know why Alan?! Huh?! You wanna know why? YOU! You're the fucking reason why!"

"Huh? What are you talking about Tony? You're acting like a madman. I haven't even seen you in ages!"

"After you left the unit I was crushed. I mean you were my fucking mentor man! And you betrayed me by going mercenary. I had always believed that we were fighting for something worth fighting for, but when you left you shitted all over it. It felt like you had stabbed me in the back. I started caging up. I became an angrier person. I never tried to take up another partner. I drank. And I spent every day of my life thinking of ways to pin something on you and drag you down. But it never happened; you were always too good. And when I was on the job I felt like every rep-kill I made didn't amount to a goddamn thing. Jane couldn't handle me so one day she packed her bags and went Off-World. I haven't seen her since. I've been getting better, I drink less now, and I don't rage as much, but I'm still intent on busting you the moment this is all over."

"Why aren't you arresting me now?"

"Firstly I can't prove you've killed anyone yet. Secondly You're the only person who has the knowledge to help me crack this case, and that's it."

"Bullshit"

"What?"

"Bullshit, everything you've said is bullshit. It's not my fault you lost your faith in retiring, we all do. I did, that's why I left the goddamn unit. The reason you haven't caught me yet isn't because I'm good. When I left the unit you were just as good as me. The reason you haven't caught me yet is because you don't want to catch me. When you've caught me you'll no longer have an excuse for why you act like an asshole. You also know that I am living proof that once you've lost faith you can move on. I know I'm not working for a holy cause, I'm working for money and I can live with that. You can't. All you live with is the fact that you know that you never had the balls to leave the unit and join me and it hurts.

"You're a fucking liar."

"No I'm not Tony, You are. You're lying to yourself, you've turned me into some big bad wolf even though all I've done is used the situation to get an honest buck. I'm gonna tell you something I haven't told anyone. That day we did that first kill together I was gonna quit the force. The moment I walked into Bryant's office I was gonna tell him to shove the job up his ass, but then I saw you, I saw how vulnerable you were. I saw that you were gonna break, that's why I stayed on, I was gonna train you to not only be the best blade runner out there, but to be ready for when it hit you that every kill you make isn't going to save the world. After our last kill I thought you were ready to come to grips with that, I was wrong. And another thing stop throwing all this I hate you shit at me because I know when I saw you back at my place you were glad to see me"

"Just shut up and drive."

"Okay man". But Thorne could see he had hit a nerve. His friend had become so wrapped up in his fantasy of what had happened that the truth cut through like a hot knife through butter. But he would help his friend and they would find out what was going on and together they would bust whoever was causing so much trouble. It would just take a long time before they could go out and have drinks as compadres again. Thorne looked again at his partner who was combing his dark hair back into place now intent on ignoring him. Yeah, one day they'd be a team again, Thorne knew it.

Thorne noted what a strange thing man was. He could call a man a brother one second and his nemesis the next, something to think about. However Thorne's philosophical meditation was halted when they reached their destination. Alexia's place.

Date: 2002-12-31 16:47